By Tanisha Lyons-Porter
Grief is often seen as the shadow of losing a loved one, but it reaches far beyond that. Grief makes itself known in life transitions that challenge us to let go of what once was and step into the unknown.
These transitions can be tied to loss, like the end of a relationship or moving out of a family home, but they can also stem from positive changes. Milestones like starting a new job, welcoming a child, or retiring after years of hard work bring their own nuance. Joyful or difficult, life transitions often have a ripple effect on our relationship with the things we own.
Take a moment to think about the objects in your life. How many of them carry emotional weight?
- A child’s outgrown clothes might symbolize cherished years of parenting.
- The box of keepsakes in the back of your closet may hold memories of a time when life felt simpler or fuller.
- Even a set of dishes could remind you of meals shared with a loved one no longer here.
As we go through transitions, these belongings can take on a deeper meaning, becoming placeholders for the moments, people, and experiences we’re living.
But here’s the truth: the importance of “things” is rarely about the things themselves.
- A grandmother’s brooch isn’t just jewelry—it’s a connection to family dinners and the warmth of her presence.
- A wedding dress isn’t simply fabric; it’s a reminder of a pivotal day and the hope that came with it.
- A box of old work files might feel like proof of a career’s impact.
What we hold onto often represents something much bigger: a memory, a person, a success, a loss, or even a hope for the future.
Acknowledging this truth can be transformative. When we recognize that the emotions tied to our belongings aren’t about the items themselves, we can start to separate the object from the meaning it holds. This doesn’t mean dismissing or minimizing the importance of those things or now getting rid of everything no matter what and becoming minimalistic—it means honoring their purpose in a way that doesn’t keep us stuck.
For some, that might look like preserving a memory in a photo or writing a story about it. For others, it might mean holding onto fewer items but choosing the ones that genuinely resonate. I often ask my clients when faced with these decisions, “How does ‘it’ make you feel when you see it?” If I am being transparent, I have asked (and continue to ask) myself that question and follow-up questions as I navigate the loss of my parents. It’s a different level of processing when they are both gone.
Grief, in all its forms, is a natural part of life. It teaches us to reflect on where we’ve been, what we’ve experienced, and how we’ve grown. As you move through your own transitions, consider how your belongings fit into your story. Are they helping you honor the past, or are they holding you back from fully embracing the present?
Letting go of a thing doesn’t mean letting go of its meaning. Instead, it creates space—physically and emotionally—for the next chapter of your life. Or sometimes it means completing the one you are in. And whatever that chapter looks like, it deserves to be embraced with intention, clarity, and grace.
Find a National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professional life transitions specialist near you.
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Meet the author
Tanisha Lyons-Porter, the natural born organizer, founded her business Natural Born Organizers in 2013 and is based in Los Angeles, CA. NBO’s motto is “No Judgment, We Are Here to Help.”
www.naturalbornorganizers.com
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